I recently moved to Texas, and drove my car there from Florida. That’s not a really remarkable achievement on it’s own, until you consider the vehicle I used to make that trip. My car is 15 years old and sporting over 150K miles on it, and has a laundry list of problems. It’s bad enough that when I told friends how I was getting to Texas, the reactions ranged from astonished concern to questions about their particular place in my will.

Because so many people have enjoyed retellings of the car’s woes, I decided to finally write down all the problems and share the list here. Enjoy.

1. The tint on the windows has melted, so you can’t really see out the windows, especially the back window.
2. The side-view mirror on the driver’s side shakes enough that you have to steady it with your hand to get a clear view.
3. The air conditioner hasn’t worked in a couple years.
4. The washer-fluid reservoir has a hole, at the bottom, so you can’t ever wash the windows while driving. I tried to fix this once, but you have to pretty much tear the hood apart to get to it.
5. The tachometer (tells you your RPMs) only works reliably when the “Check Engine” light is on. No, I don’t know how these could be related, but the behavior is consistent.
6. The passenger-front power window moves veeerrryyyy ssllllooowwwlllyyyy if any other non-essential electricity is being used (e.g., rolling up another window at the same time).
7. The plate covering the cas cap is jammed in a bit, so you have to use your key to pry it out whenever you want to fill the tank.
8. The fuel guage is unreliable between 1/4 full and Empty. Turn the car off at 1/4 full, start it again to see just above empty, turn it off and restart to see somewhere in between.
9. Here’s a big one - the transmission (automatic) frequently decides it doesn’t like to be in gear. The first gear shift of the trip is a gift, usually Reverse, to get out of a spot; after that, no drive. You can force the car into gear by revving the engine a good bit; I’ve sort of perfected the art of revving for just the right amount of time so that the car engages at the end of the rev, and I’m not lurched about too much. Once you get going the transmission mostly behaves, unless you make sharp turns, or you rapidly decelerate. On occasion, however, the car will decide that it really really likes 2nd gear, and no other gear, and you can only change it’s mind by turning the car off and then on again.
10. Sometimes at a stop light the car will idle very low and shake a bit like it’s about to stall - but, it never actually stalls.
11. After driving a bit the car will make horrible sounds when, at low speed, you turn the wheel slightly left or right of center.
12. The trunk release button up by the driver’s seat doesn’t work. This is relatively easy to fix, but it fails frequently enough that I no longer bother.
13. Checking the codes for the frequent check engine light always returns 12 and 21 - one is a power failure notice (i.e. the battery was disconnected in the past 15 starts) that should have long ago expired, and the other tells me I have a problem with an oxygen sensor.

That’s quite a list, and I’m not actually sure it’s complete. That said, the car still gets me from A to B, and despite its flaws, I love it.

If you’re familiar with my ride and notice that I’ve missed anything, let me know. If you’re impressed that I’m still alive after driving this, and frightened that I still drive in traffic in Texas, let me know that, too.

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