I’ll never forget how suprised I was when my wife first told me she was pregnant. She had handed me a pregnancy test, and I stared at it for what seemed like ages, with nothing to say but a repeated, stunned “wow”. When it finally sunk in I hugged her and held her close, knowing that our lives had just changed forever.

In the days to follow I was a jumble of emotions. I had no idea how I was going to be any good at this. As the years flew, time would quickly show me that I had no idea how to do a lot of things, from changing diapers, feeding a crying baby, determining whether my child was sick or just cranky, and getting a restless child to (finally) go to sleep for the night, or at least for an hour or two.

As parents my wife and I also gave up a lot of luxuries and freedoms. Going out to movies or dinner on a whim, staying up late with friends, taking trips to new destinations, all gave way to more mature tasks. We saved for the future (when we could), bought a bigger place to live, sacrificed niceities to buy clothing for two boys who grew out of them in a hurry. In parenthood we inherited a level of responsibility we had never known, and with it came stress, worry, frustration, and a good deal of sleeplessness. Becoming a father made me become an adult, whether I was ready for it or not.

Today I’m 1000 miles away from my kids, and have spoken to them only briefly in a phone call. My schedule is generally as free as I make it today, and you could say I temporarily have at my disposal all the luxuries I had years ago, before the night I learned I was going to be a dad. Today, and for each day of the past several weeks that I’ve been away from them for my new job, I would gladly give up those luxuries to hug my children and hear them tell me that they love me in person, and not through the digitized distance of the phone.

If you’re fortunate enough to be with your kids today, cherish whatever interactions you have with them. If your child brings you a handmade card and gives you a hug, keep that card with you and remember the smile on your child’s face. If I were with the boys right now I would see that smile; without them I have to remember the last smiles I saw, and hope that they miss me as much as I miss them.

I love you, boys. I’ll see you soon.

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